What Made Me Today

New year, eh?

Kebetulan, gue ada cerita.

Imagine yourself becoming a child again. Your life is filled with fantasies that you have. Awesome parents that fulfill all you need. You can have almost everything you want. You have a personal helper, your grandma takes the utmost care for you. You then move to a new house, in a new city. Once you got all you want, now gone with you moving. You barely get anything you want, because the things are unexpectedly crazy expensive. Your parents becoming more busy as their workplace become closer to home.

You now attend yourself to a new school, which automatically gives you new friends. But they aren't on the same way as you. You get bullied at school, at the very first semester of your first junior high years. And that torture stays for an entire junior high. But there are some who stand up for you too, whatever your situation is. As you get older, you gain many experience. Of course, some thing like taking an interest into an opposite sex. You finally get to like a boy or a girl. But things didn't go smooth. You lack the confidence to talk, and you get bullied by his or her friends, which makes them feel that you're just a scum, a weirdo, and a coward.

You don't care about that, because what matters you most is that how you deal with the bullies. You even tell your parents that you have taken it for granted and you want to take your life away. Everyday is not a good day, but in the night you're just a little kid who knows nothing but games and kids' movies. You don't care about studies as your grades fall down. Your parents do nothing but get angry at you every time you got a bad score. It's the same when you were in elementary. You once got hit with an office chair thrown by your father.

You finally graduate from junior high, and continuing to senior high. At the time for your farewell party, you find yourself watching the one you loved from 3 years ago going with your "best friend". You go somewhere and stay in a hotel for a few days. You share your room with this friend, and in the middle of the night you see his or her that you loved sharing a bed, and all you do is put your headset and watch movies.

Months passed, you moved on from her. Now it's time for senior high. You find yourself with the same people who once made you down, plus some new acquaintances. Once again, you fall in love with someone. Yet things didn't go as planned as their friends are the ones that made you feel at the lowest ground. A depthless hole.

Your parents are having difficulties with economical problems as the standards of life keep getting higher. Your money balance drops as you tried to borrow money for your hobbies. Then your debt goes swelling. You're facing a wall, you come across into a new problem, whereas your dad always throws a fit whenever little mistake that you did. Every single time.

You know that your parents' income is low, yet you still want them to buy you things. Laptop, phone, new clothes, things for your hobbies, and many other needs. They only give you hope, saying that if you believe in God and pray every day you'll get what you want. You try to do what they said, and sometimes you get them. Not always.

One of the things that you got is you can move yourself to a new school, because of someone and yourself cannot handle the bullies anymore. You meet new friends, new classes, new studies, and new love story. 

Things are getting worse. Closer to National Exam for senior high. You're getting closer to college world, but you're worried because your grades are getting lower and not getting up. You're having a problem with your crush, such as differences in opinion, your crush didn't want to be serious, you have to spoil her every single freaking time. But the worst isn't this. You find yourself knowing that your father are getting close to bankrupt because you have to cure your grandma, who has a stadium IV pneumonia. Then, your mom has to operate her womb because of cyst cancer. That's a lot of money. Your father even sold the car your family have so that you can bring your grandma to have a cure outside Indonesia. It didn't even work, but your mom is cured from the cancer.

Things are getting worser and last for 7 months. Your grandma starts to show symptoms of being possessed by a demon. You have your fight with your crush, and your grades keep on gettting lower. Your grandma is being moved to several hospitals to get treatment, your family barely have any money left. Finally you bring her to home to minimize the money outcome. One day she calls you and you two have a little chat. You think that this might be the last chat ever with her so you come. She tells you to become a good person, she tells you not to pursue for grades, but you have to be a kind person.

You really had that chat to be the last chat with your grandma. She passes away in the morning, after you finally got to clear things with your crush days before. You don't get sad, because you realized that she is finally free, no more sickness. No more pain. Now she's having a freedom in Heaven. Your dad went bankrupt as the time goes. You decide yourself to live your life as your grandma said. And you did. You graduate from high school. You got a scholar to your favorite university. Things still didn't work out for your father though. You become a little bit better since you graduated from high school. Your father sometimes make you feel bad but he still tries to provide you with all things that you need. He tried to become a better person too, since the departure of your grandma.

Sometimes you hold grudges against your family. Sometimes you have to argue with your friends. But those things have made you become a better person.

That's how the story ends. Because the story is stuck now, in real life.

Yah, ini cerita gue. Udahan ah, gue mau main, adios~