My Life Story

New year, eh? Kebetulan, gue ada cerita. Imagine yourself becoming a child again. Your life is filled with fantasies that you have. Awesome parents that fulfill all you need. You can have almost everything you want. You have a personal helper, your grandma takes the utmost care for you. You then move to a new house, in a new city. Once you got all you want, now gone with you moving. You barely get anything you want, because the things are unexpectedly crazy expensive. Your parents becoming more busy as their workplace become closer to home. You now attend yourself to a new school, which automatically gives you new friends. But they aren't on the same way as you. You get bullied at school, at the very first semester of your first junior high years. And that torture stays for an entire junior high. But there are some who stand up for you too, whatever your situation is. As you get older, you gain many experience. Of course, some thing like taking an interest into an oppo...

Alright. You chose to end it yourself, so let's just wrap it up. Gue akhirnya liburan kuliah juga, setelah sekian lama menderita sakit akibat "temen kelas" yang tiap hari ada aja kelakuan yang bisa bikin gue keki, kecapekan kuliah, sama kehidupan cinta gue yang kian tidak sehat. Maksud ga sehat di sini simpel kok. Gue sama dia lama-lama renggang. Isi chat yang semakin memendek seiring dia bales gue pake stiker doang, literally every single moment. Kalo ga stiker, bales pendek, dan itu cukup membuat gue keki. Karena dia sendiri bilang dia suka sama gue, but I think she's bluffing. She said that she's embarrassed. So, that means  even 3 months of getting to know each other better is not enough? Malem kemaren, tepat di hari ibu internasional. Dia akhirnya menyatakan kalo dia mau hubungan ini berakhir. I feel relieved, because I don't have to be the first one to say that. But in the end I'm suffering because I lost someone again. In the end, I have to...

One day, when the sky is falling.. I'll be standing here, right next to you.. Gue kembali ke tempat ini. Tempat di mana semua imajinasi, rasa, dan petualangan hidup gue berada. Jujur akhir-akhir ini gue mulai meragukan hati gue sendiri. Terlalu banyak kebohongan yang gue terima beberapa pekan terakhir. You won't know when will the tiny, adorable breeze can turn into a devastating, catastrophic storm. Kalian tau gue baru aja merasakan kepergian "bunga" ke-18. Dan cerita kami lenyap hanya dengan sebuah stiker bertuliskan sebuah kata tertawa yang dikhususkan oleh orang Indonesia. Dari situ gue berpikir. Apa iya begitu aja? Apa iya setelah merasakan betapa sibuknya menjadi mahasiswa membuat kami akhirnya terpisah dari satu tali yang mengikat kami, which is our social media. I've turned myself into a love victim, where I'm the suspect too. Double the pain, huh? November. Month of my rainy days. Gue selalu teringat waktu SMP, di mana gue jatuh cinta...

Honestly, recently I think one of my friends is acting differently. Jadi, gue punya temen yang kebetulan jadi temen main yang punya kesukaan yang sama. Of course, RPG-based games. Cuma entah kenapa akhir-akhir ini dia bertingkah aneh. Dari yang biasanya dia mau cerita apa-apa sama gue, semenjak dia bikin grup belajar bahasa pemrograman sama anak-anak yang emang udah bisa dari semenjak liburan UN, dia jadi berubah. Like, any questions I asked will always be answered with " gatau, yang penting ada aja.", also with an attitude that makes me irritated as well. Padahal, awalnya kami satu tim buat projek kreativitas, tapi makin hari dia makin nunjukkin kalo dia udah enggan temenan sama gue dan satu temen kelompok lagi. Belom lagi dia sekarang lebih deket sama temen-temen yang menurut salah satu temen gue, "dia lebih milih buat nyari temen yang bisa menguntungkan dirinya sendiri juga." Jujur, gue gamau hal ini sampe terjadi. Karena, dia adalah ...

Gue kembali dihadapkan pada kondisi di mana gue merasa annoyed as hell berkat temen-temen yang bahkan gue udah anggep udah kayak saudara. Coz we hang out more often than my friends at Senior High. Semenjak "bunga" yang baru mekar (kalo kalian inget postingan ke-22), gue jadi deket banget sama cewe ini. Orang bahkan sampe bilang kalo kami itu udah jadian. Wait, what? It's just still a month, why the rush? Tindakan gue berkata lain, sih. Kami bahkan udah sampe holding hands, cuddling each other whenever chances come their way. Cuma emang kadang dia suka gamau gara-gara orang liatin, tapi masih aja dilanjutin tangan gue dipegang, gamau dilepas. Jujur gue paham kalo tindakan kami udah di luar batas wajar. Soalnya status kami masih "pendekatan". Kenapa gue bilang judul hari ini kayak begitu? Ini ceritanya. Semenjak gue deket sama cewe ini, tim yang semula ngebantuin cewe ini buat menjauh dari satu cowo (yang akan gue ceritain abis ini) jadi malah suk...